Optical requires more work at the termination side.You are almost certainly right. I'm betraying my non-automotive data comm roots. There are indeed single and dual pair copper ethernet standards for automotive use. As well as cheap plastic fiber optic Ethernet for automotive. In they used copper, they could also provide power over that too. The coolest implementation, I guess, would be fiber optic with separate power. Why would you think dual pair, why one just one pair if they used copper?
Two pairs gives redundancy which is critical with steer by wire and progression to FSD. Tesla has a patent application that uses a ring that still gives full connectivity if one link fails. Two pair may be overkill, but preserves bandwidth rather than dropping to half duplex. Also, the application also showed a dual pair harness crossection.
They can power over the comm lines, but the vehicle main bus power needs are higher than the usual 50W (though for an end node, that may be fine). Twisted pair wire gauge vs power requirements.
If they are building all their own modules, then yes, sure would be easier! Would be fascinating to read more about the data comms protocols that Tesla uses.
UDP is pretty decent, just need to add a fault tolerant layer on top. Dragon uses Ethernet too, I think.