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Thanks to a nice lady who remodelled the back of my M3 the other day, I'm back in an ICE car for the first time in about a year while repairs are done, so I thought I'd share my thoughts and probably start at least one argument in this thread 🤪

First things first, my hire car for the duration is a BMW M135i xDrive - so in theory is a rough match for the Tesla in specification and performance.

Pros:
  • I feels much better put together than the Tesla, in particular the doors have a pleasing "whump" noise when being closed and they haven't messed up a modern interior by nailing a shoddy piece of wood onto the dashboard.
  • Wireless CarPlay (also Android Auto). I know there are a few in here who don't want CP or AA to even be offered as an option in Teslas, but frankly I just paired my phone and had a familiar interface for navigation and media immediately. I also prefer the birds-eye view offered to the flat map on the Tesla, but that's a more general observation.
  • Automatic headlights and wipers that work. So far they've behaved exactly as I needed them to without fail.
  • No vampire drain (see Cons). Having not driven it for a few days I was surprised to find that it had the same amount of fuel in it as when I parked up.

Cons:
  • (Tongue -> cheek) Range anxiety. According to the specs, this car can do 40mpg and has an 11 Gallon tank, so should do 440 miles when full, but this one says it'll only do 299 miles when full! Is my car faulty? On top of that I can't refuel at home every night so I'll have to make an inconvenient trip to a petrol station to fill up - that'll probably take half an hour out of my day!
  • The throttle response is... challenging. In Sport mode a tiny amount of pressure has the car leaping forwards at full bore, but in Comfort mode it's so slow that I kept checking to see if I'd left the handbrake on. I presume this is an "M" characteristic because I've never encountered such a lack of progression in any other car.
  • The seats have the opposite problem with bolster support to the Tesla - they're a little narrow for me when I have on my winter coat and can't be adjusted. That's a general sport seat problem, I suppose. Wish the Tesla had more support and the BMW had less 😄

That's about it.

One thing I will add, this particular car makes me want to be back in my M3 as soon as possible; I would not buy one.
 
We’ve one of both and I quite enjoy driving both. The suspension in our petrol BMW is way better than the Tesla. I’m watching with interest to see what the new BMW EVs will be like, if they can combine the best of both then it’s going to be hard to justify keeping the Tesla.
 
There are even more benefits when I drive my '93 200sx:
No irritating bongs if I choose to leave the seatbelt undone.
No danger of being whacked in the face by an airbag or risk having a boiled sweet rammed down my windpipe.
Seats can be instantly repositioned by releasing their ratchets and sliding them.
Manual adjustment of wiper speed and hi-lo headlights with a simple stick and far better night vision.
Cool pop-up headlights.
Rear window wiper.
Handy tie downs at front and back onto the tow hooks if'n I choose to put something long on the roof.
Boot lid can be easily tied down to the rear hook to help wedge objects longer than the internal space.
Front seats that go truly flat when reclined.
Simple and effective rapid adjustment of the heat or a/c with tactile sliders and buttons.
No irritating interruptions to concentration from infotainment systems (which failed long ago).
Ability to slide gracefully around corners unhindered by traction controls.
No fuss lifting with a trolley jack.
Open the bonnet for instant access to battery and fluids reservoirs.
Simple access to fuse box in drivers footwell.
Raid recharge at any one of thousands of refuelling sites.
 
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We’ve one of both and I quite enjoy driving both. The suspension in our petrol BMW is way better than the Tesla. I’m watching with interest to see what the new BMW EVs will be like, if they can combine the best of both then it’s going to be hard to justify keeping the Tesla.
You may have to wait a while. I know somone who has ordered an I4 and his order just got put back from Feb to June
 
There are even more benefits when I drive my '93 200sx:
No irritating bongs if I choose to leave the seatbelt undone.
No danger of being whacked in the face by an airbag or risk having a boiled sweet rammed down my windpipe.
Seats can be instantly repositioned by releasing their ratchets and sliding them.
Manual adjustment of wiper speed and hi-lo headlights with a simple stick and far better night vision.
Cool pop-up headlights.
Rear window wiper.
Handy tie downs at front and back onto the tow hooks if'n I choose to put something long on the roof.
Boot lid can be easily tied down to the rear hook to help wedge objects longer than the internal space.
Front seats that go truly flat when reclined.
Simple and effective rapid adjustment of the heat or a/c with tactile sliders and buttons.
No irritating interruptions to concentration from infotainment systems (which failed long ago).
Ability to slide gracefully around corners unhindered by traction controls.
No fuss lifting with a trolley jack.
Open the bonnet for instant access to battery and fluids reservoirs.
Simple access to fuse box in drivers footwell.
Raid recharge at any one of thousands of refuelling sites.
I don't know if your being a bit tongue-in-cheek, but you do actually have a lot of good points in there.
 
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I currently have a Toyota 4Runner TRD as a week-long rental. There is nothing about it that I like better than my Model Y.

  • I keep forgetting to get the key out of my pocket before I sit in the driver's seat.
  • I keep forgetting to lock it before I walk away.
  • It rides incredibly rough and noisy.
  • The controls are clunky.
  • I have to go to filthy gas stations to refuel - I don't even know what it was I stepped in at the last one.
  • Pre-Tesla I swore by Android Auto for navigation. This vehicle showed me I was wrong - purely by the size of the screen and user interface. Tesla's navigation is SO MUCH BETTER now.
  • The steering wheel feels like a moving truck wheel.
  • There is a surprising small amount of storage in such a large vehicle.
  • It only has one USB port for charging phones.
 
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I don't know if your being a bit tongue-in-cheek, but you do actually have a lot of good points in there.
A bit of both - some simple old ideas don't need changing.

I forgot to add:
Spare wheel - it's actually still the original spare with no sign of deterioration..
A key - cheap to own a spare or replace. And I’m carrying the house keys anyway
Not a vandal target
Insurance is circa £100
Doesn't need an internet connection
Cons:
It's going to get harder to find E5 fuel (locally no problem)
Tin worms are breeding
Spares are like hens teeth.
Turbo lag
What was decent acceleration back in the days is sluggish compared to my S
It's not as easy to get in and out of as it used to be - but we're both 28yrs older. Still comfy when in it.
 
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Yesterday I drove my wife’s 3 yo BMW 220d sit up & beg manual, for the first time in many months, she won’t have an auto at any price. It was horrible, clunky, jerky brakes (my fault I’m not used to them), also quite noisy, louder than I recall.
Up & down the gears in traffic, constantly touching the brakes (no Regan), reasonable acceleration.
My previous car to the M3 was a BMW 330d xdrive & switching to the 220d for long motorway trips to family wasn’t too bad and a kind of a not unpleasant charge due to the higher driving position.
After driving my M3 for 11k miles I genuinely find the 220 horrible & avoid driving it, so why this time you might ask.
We’ve just had a full set of Michelin CC2s fitted & I took it to the garage for her, being the good husband.
I’m not sure what I’d think of my 330d if I had to drive it again, the M3 is so easy & pleasurable to be in.
 
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We’ve one of both and I quite enjoy driving both. The suspension in our petrol BMW is way better than the Tesla. I’m watching with interest to see what the new BMW EVs will be like, if they can combine the best of both then it’s going to be hard to justify keeping the Tesla.
Dare I say that imho in the M'spec cars, you are correct but then again, we might have similar preferences.

"Adaptive" suspension from experience on the other hand, is nothing but a marketing ploy, plain and simple, again imho.
 
Yesterday I drove my wife’s 3 yo BMW 220d sit up & beg manual, for the first time in many months, she won’t have an auto at any price. It was horrible, clunky, jerky brakes (my fault I’m not used to them), also quite noisy, louder than I recall.
Wow, parallels across the sea! At about the same moment, we sold my wife's 2002 Subaru that otherwise perfectly fits the description. Sold for $300 and happy to see it go. So far, the nostalgia at its departure has been manageable. ;)
 
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Dare I say that imho in the M'spec cars, you are correct but then again, we might have similar preferences.

"Adaptive" suspension from experience on the other hand, is nothing but a marketing ploy, plain and simple, again imho.
I’ve had various suspensions over the years in BMWs, the full blown adaptive and found the harder you drove the car, the better it got, current car we have has 3 damper settings and the difference is quite noticeable, but my comment on suspension was really just a broader one. The Model 3 we have feels at first great, quick steering so appears to offer quick turn in, fairly firm so appears to be sporty, but push it on currently lanes and I lose faith in it quickly (and by pushing it that might be 60 in a 60 limit with an uneven road surface). Maybe it’s just a function that the car has more power than the chassis likes which is rarely exposed in petrol cars because they rarely have as much power.

This isn’t meant as critical, more every car has a different mix of talents, especially when you dial in price, not to mention what you want from a car can differ from one day to the next. Any concerns over the suspension aren't even a consideration when I’m running my dad to the eye hospital for his regular injection, but equally we’ve had a weekend in Wales and we took the petrol car for quite a few reasons.
 
Dare I say that imho in the M'spec cars, you are correct but then again, we might have similar preferences.

"Adaptive" suspension from experience on the other hand, is nothing but a marketing ploy, plain and simple, again imho.
When I receive my car I'll give you a comparison but the suspension in my partner's Porsche is kinda magical. Firm and responsive in the lanes, yet smooth as silk when you just want to get from A-B on a motorway. It is adaptive so perhaps the car knows when its being driven at speed or in a straight line.

Just a shame that it's pretty noisy inside due to being a sportscar.
 
My 235i conv could barely do 33mpg and I am driving 90% motorway/country road. Even if my conv is slightly heavier than the 135i 40mpg just sound impossible unless drive like a granny. It is a six cylinder anything near 30mpg would be quite amazing

Their sport mode is…like you mention, comfort feel slow unless you floor it, and in sport mode the throttle become digital either nothing or “kill yourself speed”