Dear
@Btrflyl8e,
I've been hanging out in this forum since, IIRC, something like May '13. I have read many thousands of posts, including yours. But the post you just sent has now taken the prize as the single most shocking thing I've read here. Heck, maybe that I've read anywhere.
You bf may be thoughtful. He may be intellectually deft. He may be adorable. He may be as handsome as Adonis. He may be incredibly gifted and talented. He may be the cat's meow, the best thing since sliced bread, God's gift to women. He may even idolize you, in his own cute but limited way. But tragically, he's also an idiot.
So swap him out and replace him with me.
I'll gladly solve the free Tesla problem. I admit, there are a few areas in which I may differ from your current bf, perhaps radically and for the worse, including but not limited to: thoughtfulness, intellect, adorableness, handsomeness, giftedness, talentedness, meow-i-ness, slicedness, and giftliness. But I sure as heck can do idolization and I'm definitely smart enough to handle the free Tesla ownership "problem".
I anticipate no problem explaining all this to my wife, who obviously will perfectly understand the need to obtain the free Tesla(*).
Alan
(*)My wife might also impose some additional conditions, such as you have to keep me, force me to lose weight, and/or put me through several rounds of cosmetic surgery until I resemble a younger Robert Redford or at the very least a recent Bernie Sanders. She's a fantastic wife, but hey, we're talking about a free Tesla here and the possibility that she can then grab MY Tesla....