Thanks you guys. I have a real thing about honesty and forthcomingness. It just makes my internal alarm bells go off. I actually knew or got to know my last couple of car salesmen at Lexus and Toyota, and really totally trusted them and their advice. I didn't feel that way here.
I can believe battery model is not a bad idea, but it is a different idea for me. I think I would go for 60 model, but I would like the ability to go cross country and not sure how crazy this would make me (I prefer to drive for 8-12 hour stretches and then stop for the night, so big change).
Here is a link to one of the discussions about the suspension:
Suspension Problem on Model S. This guy had a control arm failure. It's a really long thread. I have seen similar things elsewhere. There was also a thread someplace where the guy had purchased a CPO, took it home because he needed to use it, and had expected them to deal with pitting on glass and paint job but I think was not getting the response he expected. Couldn't find it again.
I don't know a lot about cars, and I'm very frugal - so this adds to my nervousness. I don't want to buy a lemon! I want to be treated like a queen like I still am for my really-old Camry and was for my Lexus, where I feel like they will go out of their way to make things right at a fair price. I know there can be outliers for anything, but I just need to know that, in general, people are having good experience with their retailers.