i posted this in reset technique thread... but, right before going into SC, tried one more effort, which was a modification of another poster's idea.
my spoiler was stuck in down position except when going 45+. trying to set it to "extended" only resulted in switching back to auto and retracting once i put my X into gear.
so, while in park, i put the spoiler into extended mode. from there, did a center console reset (hold both scroll wheels). upon boot up, the spoiler fully extended and the mode back on auto. it's worked like a charm since.
avoided an SC visit... this was clearly a software issue.