At risk of getting too off topic, I had a friend who worked as a Russian translator for the US military back during one of the nuclear disarmament treaties... think it must have been SALT II or something like that. Both sides sent inspectors over to ensure that the agreed-upon weapons were actually being destroyed**. She always found it tragic that these missiles, these marvels of modern engineering, were just being scrapped and wasted. So along with the rest of the team, they put together a tongue-in-cheek (but very detailed) proposal to retrofit them as an Intercontinental Pizza Delivery System. They did all the calculations for how they'd have to modify it for the racks of uncooked pizzas, how they'd have to modify the heat shield, how hot it'd get inside and how long they'd bake for, how to parachute them down, etc, including cost projections (I think the delivery cost worked out to $15 per pizza if you bought a full missile's worth). Eventually it fell on her to present the proposal to a Soviet officer (I think she said the rank was equivalent to a colonel), with as straight of a face as she could muster. She said he just stared at her like she had lost her bloody mind.
** Fun side story: both sides were allowed to inspect any area large enough to conceal a "treaty limited item". So the US sent their teams over with these fancy laser measuring devices to see if they were allowed to inspect. The Soviets were very impressed by this. They had sent their teams over with... a stick. If the stick fit, they could inspect
Similarly, she described the system for if you get pulled over. You know how in the west, if an officer pulls you over, they take your license, run it into a computer, it gets transmitted into some database and the offense registered, possibly triggering other actions, etc etc. In the USSR they'd take your license... and punch a hole in it. If you had too many holes in your license... they'd keep it