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Tesla's new Strategy?!?!?

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1) P85 loaners, you can keep it at a discount or get a roadster
2) valet service. Tesla will come pick up your car. (does this require ranger service)?
3) Optional service contract. Warranty is still valid.
4) battery fully covered under warranty even if you damage it
 
1. P85 vehicles for service which you can keep at a discounted price if you prefer that vehicle, OR loaner roadster.
2. Valet service- service loaner will be brought to you and your car picked up and taken to SC. Then again upon vehicle return.
3. Maintenance contract optional - no longer required to keep warranty
4. Battery warranty modified - covers almost everything except damage done trying to reverse engineer the battery

Added:

Tesla is initially building 100 P85's for service loaner fleet.
Battery warranty is transferrable. Warranty length not increased - 8 years
Loaner car purchase: Loaner vehicle's price will be calculated with the formula- 1% discount per month for age, and $1/mile. Trade in value formula not disclosed. Vehicles traded in through this program will be re-sold as used by Tesla.
Service department's goal: 0% profit. Tesla profits will come from selling vehicles (and accessories)
 
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Four part announcement:

1) P85 loaners (or roadster)
2) They show up to your place and give you the loaner and pick up your car
3) Annual service checkup is optional (and the warrenty is still valid)
4) Full battery coverage for free

Edit: darn... AnOutsider beat me to it
 
Quick summary of the announcement:

1. A bunch of Model S Performance fully-loaded cars
- 1%/month of age, $1/mile if you want to buy the car
- can take a Roadster for an additional cost

2. Valet service - the loaner is taken to you

3. Annual service contract is now optional and warranty is still valid

4. All damage/maintenance to battery is covered by Tesla warranty
 
The price of buying the loaner is 1% of depreciation per month and $1 per mile, and if I heard right that's how they'd value your current car too. So you'd trade on the spot, pay the difference and drive off in the loner as your own car. Elon says the loaner fleet should generally not be older than 3 months. He wants nice new loaners, not an aging fleet.