I'm still torn over the wheels, I suspect my deciding point will be if I can somehow afford the P85 I'll get the 21s (the design of which I much prefer, I couldn't care less about the size), and if it's the S85, I'll stick with the 19's and save a lump of money.
The concern about scuffing them is valid, though compared to the UK where I lived more most of my life, the curbs here in the US and all curvy (rather than angry and sharp-cornered!) so I'm less worried than I would have been, although my wife did manage to completely mangle a wheel on her previous car (the exact circumstances were never really explained, and it was a fairly crappy Dodge wheel that cost $80 to replace!).
On the subject of potholes, I've lost 2 tires in the past year due to pot-holes, there's a lot of construction on my work route, that's essentially causing the existing road to separate, with wide, cavernous gaps. Both time, a wheel went down there, you get the depressing smell of burnt rubber, and the tire pressure warning pops up :-( These are 19" 255/35 tires, so on that basis, I'm not sure I'll be much worse-off with the 21s.