OK, here's what I recommend. First, have an electrician look at the whole setup. If you're tripping the main breaker that easily, something is likely really wrong.
Once it's determined how big a circuit is actually safe, (assuming you don't have much bigger problems) change the outlet to a one of 6-15, 6-20, or 14-30 , and change the breaker to match (15a, 20a or 30a). Use the Tesla adapter for the new outlet type to be sure the car CAN'T draw too much. This will limit the car's charging rate automatically. The setting in the car is just not reliable enough. As you've seen, software updates can cause the car to forget. Also, sometimes the GPS doesn't work that well, and the car fails to realize it's at home and goes back to the default settings.
Meanwhile, to get charged tonight, leave the door open while you plug in, and immediately dial the charge rate down before it has time to ramp up to full speed. This should stick, but don't rely on it. If you have to, dial it down every single time.
I've changed my mind. You shouldn't charge at all until it's been looked at.