It's good that you are nervous, not because TACC/NOA are bad, but because you are doing the sensible thing .. assuming something is not safe until you can reassure yourself that it is. That said, I would advice doing what I did .. do things a step at a time.
(1) Start with TACC only (no autosteer) on a quiet freeway (Sunday mornings early are good). Experiment with the follow distance, and observe how the actual distance changes with speed for a given setting. Watch the lane display to see the radar "lock" onto a car (it will be a darker gray), and how it changes this lock as a car merges in front of you.
(2) Then add autosteer (not NOA), again on a quiet road. Dont bother with lane changes at first, just watch how the car handles keeping in lane, how on/off ramp lane lines sometimes make the car "center" in the wide lane (dont panic). Try taking back control by yanking the steering wheel. Get used to the feel of how much pressure you need on the wheel to avoid nags (it was more than I expected). Experiment in different weather and at night if you can (I was amazed at how well it drives at night, it can find lane lines on a dark night that I can hardly see myself).
(3) Then try driver-initiated lane changes with autosteer (use the turn signal fully up/down to start one). Observe how the car handles them, try doing one as a car comes by (a bit scary at first). Notice how the car shows on the display what it intends to do.
(4) Once you have done that, try on a slightly busier freeway. Watch how the car handles traffic, how and when it notices cars, and compare that to your own awareness of cars (and blind spot, that the car doesnt have). Try lane changes with more traffic. Again, try starting a lane change when its not safe and see how the car reacts (it won't change lanes and crash).
(5) Finally, go ahead and enable NOA, again on a quiet stretch of freeway. Leave settings on conservative (lane change conformation etc), and watch the car make decisions (good and bad) about when/where it wants to change lanes and/or take on/off ramps. As you gain confidence you can try handling over more control to the car, and see which settings you are comfortable with.
Once you have a "feel" for what the car can and cannot do you will develop normal anticipation of "hmm, the car won't handle this well" far ahead of time, much like you do for other road conditions.
But always remember you are ultimately responsible for safety .. the care tries to be safe, and in a sort of moronic way it is *very* safe, but it can make blunders, just like all the other drivers around you on the freeway. And you cope with those, dont you?