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M3 Software Update

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Newbie experience. 250 miles on my new '23 M3. It wanted to download update. Sitting outside the bank, I said why not. I went in the bank for a few minutes, came out and found car couldn't be started. Something I hadn't read. Problem was I had a Doctor's appt in a half hour just up the road. So I called Doctor's office and alerted them. Fortunately, the download completed in time to get there. My doctor said I understand--I have a Tesla, too. An S. I program it to download at 2 AM in my garage. Great idea.
Questions: Why don't they have an estimated time to download on screen? Like on a regular computer. And why can't the car be running? I did find something on Google that says downloading takes about 25 mins. It did in my case. But the bar showed approx % downloaded, not time left.
I have a rough idea how to set the time to download. It says there's a clock on the main screen at the top. Anybody want to add to this?
I have updates set on Advanced . Maybe I should reset to Standard. I would like to set it so that downloads happened at 2 AM in my garage. Wireless is connected.
 
Newbie experience. 250 miles on my new '23 M3. It wanted to download update. Sitting outside the bank, I said why not. I went in the bank for a few minutes, came out and found car couldn't be started. Something I hadn't read.
You didn’t initiate a download, you initiated the update itself.

The car will automatically download updates in the background when connected to wifi. You can drive and use the car normally when an update is downloading and staging.

Once the update is ready to install and the pop-up comes up on the screen, you’re prompted to install. The install warning tells you approximately how long it will take and that you can’t drive the car while it’s happening.
 
You didn’t initiate a download, you initiated the update itself.

The car will automatically download updates in the background when connected to wifi. You can drive and use the car normally when an update is downloading and staging.

Once the update is ready to install and the pop-up comes up on the screen, you’re prompted to install. The install warning tells you approximately how long it will take and that you can’t drive the car while it’s happening.
Seconded.

Further: Make sure the wi-fi in your house is up and running. When the upload fairy dings your car with its wand, you'll get a notification that an "update is available". At that point, you can download it, on the app, even, whilst you sit in the comfort of your home.

After the download, it'll prompt you to install. If you say no, nothing happens. If you say yes, you get the warning about how many minutes it'll take.

When the update shows is all over the map. Sometimes somebody'll get one as soon as it gets published by Tesla; sometimes it'll be a week or three later.

Checking for the update is close, but not quite, as bad as hitting the "close door" button on an elevator. Did the door close because you hit the button, or was it going to do it anyway? YMMV.

Finally: If you're on the road somewhere, many of the newer Tesla Superchargers come with a Tesla-branded wi-fi signal. This is presumed to be for the use of long distance travelers if they want to play video games in the car, but it works just fine for downloading and installing updates, if that's something one wants to do.

Believe it or not, back in the day, some people discovered that they could get updates early if they snuck up near a Service Center somewhere, connected to the wifi (which the car did automatically sometimes back then), at which point the latest and greatest update would magically appear. Tesla got irritated by this since it tended to get the local parking lots crammed up and turned off that method a long time ago :).
 
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Thanks for the responses. What about standard vs advanced? Does advanced give you more updates, or just more frequently vs standard? How critical are these updates?
I got the M3 that's my daily driver set on Advanced. The SO's MY which is her daily driver is set on standard.

Sometimes I get the update before her. Sometimes she gets the updates before me. I'd say it's a coin flip, but maybe that's insulting to coins.

There may be some effect, somewhere, but it'd take a population of cars with half set one way and half set the other and some ANOVA-style analysis to figure out which way is up. But my experience is it's like the "Close Door" elevator button: Maybe it's connected, maybe it's not.