99% of the time, putting slight pressure on the wheel in one way or another (or a slight wiggle back and forth that shows the wheel moving the display) is sufficient to satisfy the nag... and this nag occurs even though my hand is on the wheel and my attention is directly on the road. It seems to still wants this physical resistance every once in a while to make sure you are still awake/alive...
Again I believe the steering wheel threshold or limit that Tesla uses to both disengage AP and satisfy a nag, seems to be the main issue here.
In other cars I've own that are drive by wire, they alter the steering amount/ratio and sensitivity depending on your speed. I wouldn't be surprised if Tesla is doing the same thing, and assume they can do this for AP and nagging as well.