You are making some valid points, but, having owned multiple software companies during the last few decades, you also come across just as entitled as the software is imperfect.
It appears as if you take all the great things that car CAN do and the things that DO work for granted (never mind that Tesla is still the most high tech and most customizable car in existence, with great acceleration, a silent ride, no need for gas, a worldwide fast charging network that other EVs can only dream of, etc. etc.), and are only focusing on the handful things you don't like... and that adds up to "terrible" for you.
I suggest you watch this:
... and learn how to tell apart valid concerns and unreasonable expectations. Yes, Tesla vision is not perfect. It's only the first and only one of its kind in a car. Expecting perfection at this stage of the game is unreasonable. It is still a work in progress and it will take a while to get it anywhere near perfect.
There is no perfect software. But there are also user expectations and the kind of user who thinks that everything that isn't made, or isn't fully customizable according to his/her private expectations is "terrible". Every developer must make choices, juggling a TON of conflicting factors - ease of use vs. customizability, uniform user experience vs custom settings, safety vs. "do whatever you please", and in Tesla's case, also taking into consideration the different laws and regulations of hundreds of countries, etc.
Have you tried the button on the charge handle (the end which goes into the car)? You say there is no button, but there IS a button on it. If you push it, it opens the charger port when it's closed, and releases the latch when the cable is plugged in so you can remove the cable. I use it all the time and find it very simple and intuitive.
The manual has different editions based on regions and the version you have, or the latest version available may not include some of the latest features, since everything is software based and edited, formatted and published manuals, or even online help files may not be updated immediately when a new features is released.
I also don't understand how the traffic visualization can be distracting for you - you actually have to look at the display to be "distracted" by it. No one is forcing you to look at it. I for one, find it very informative as I can see how the car interprets what the cameras see, and it helps me predict what the car will do. For me, it makes AP safer and helps me understand how the car "thinks" and why it does certain things. I definitely prefer it to a black box that just did its thing and I would have no idea why.
Tesla, like yourself, isn't perfect. But just as I wouldn't say that you are a terrible whiner, I also wouldn't say Tesla is a terrible software company. Given the incredible complexity of what they are making, and their responsibilities and the balancing acts they have to contend with between cutting edge tech and outdated regulations, I think they are doing pretty darn good.