Jan 1 will see a massive influx of new and reconfirmed arguments that Tesla loses money on every car without subsidies. Elon Musk will officially come out the closet as Q-anon, and he will post a poll on the bird app proposing that MLK Day be cancelled as a federal holiday due to its woke origins and and be replaced with a new holiday on Jan 6th to be called Patriots Day. Stock will fall.
Announcement of the new model will clearly indicate collapsing demand for the S3XY lineup. Market will see through the desperate attempt at pumping up the TSLA price. Stock will fall.
Cybertruck owners will be humiliated and ridiculed everywhere they go for driving such a stupid and ugly truck that can’t even roll coal or tow a boat more than 69 miles. Those remaining few owners who don’t shamefully hide it in their garages to admire in private will quickly rack up manslaughter charges for mowing down pedestrians with the sharp edges. After a lengthy series of departmental meetings discussing proposed regulatory changes, NHTSA finally writes new rules making the Cybertruck illegal sometime around next December. Americans rejoice that the triangular menace is off the streets and question why an armored personnel carrier on wheels was ever allowed in the first place. Unable to pay the bills anymore, Tesla forecloses on Giga Texas and GM buys it off auction, announcing a bold plan to produce dozens of Made-in-Texas electric Silverados there annually by 2025.
Stock will fall.
Throughout the year, quarterly financials will be so good that the market finally catches on to the fraud Tesla is brazenly committing in broad daylight. Stock will fall; Jim Chanos and David Einhorn will finally be billionaires again.
And they all lived happily ever after. Except TSLA bag holders. The end.
(no offense) Cheers!!
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