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Tire swap and size question - Tesla service won't install out of spec size

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I currently have the 20" PS4s installed with the referral zero g wheels.

For winter I'd like to go down to 19" and I have an order of 19" Martians on the way. Problem is, I'd really like to install the Michelin Alpin PA4's. Only size they come in is NON XL 235/40R19 or 235/45XL rated 19.

Tesla won't install either of these because the first one they say isn't load rated appropriately, and the second they said might have some rubbing due to the ever so slightly larger size of 45. Am I fine with either if I can find someone that would do mount and install? Will the bigger ones rub?
 
Because Tesla is the manufacturer, they have to stick to the OE parts (unless they want to go through the certification process, which is tedious and costly). However, there is nothing magical about the tires and wheels, so any tire store can do it. No idea if they will rub, but they will reduce range, mess up the speedometer, gearing, etc. Having a lower load rating often means a blowout down the road. Seen way to many of them. (A higher load rating is fine.)