So two weeks or so into my replacement UMC and I am starting to have the same problems all over again (plug in and the port just stays white and won't charge).
I have found a workaround and can't for the life of me explain why it works, but it does, and it also explains why I have no issues with the J1772 adapter and public chargers:
If I open the charge port from the touchscreen, then plug in the UMC, it works fine. If I use the button on the UMC to open the charge port door, no dice. Since I use the touchscreen with the J1772, I have no issues. It may also explain how I was able to initiate charging one time by futzing around with the "Open Charge Port" button on the mobile app.
All last week I used the touchscreen and had no issues. Yesterday, I thought I'd try the UMC button and the problem returned. Today, using the touchscreen again and it's charging like a champ.
The thing that's odd is that if I use the UMC's button, the port opens just fine and the touchscreen brings up the Charge screen, says Charge Port Open just as it does when I do it directly from the touchscreen. There doesn't appear to be any outward difference between the two methods of opening the port. Obviously, using the UMC's button, something is getting missed, but what? It's also odd that both my original and the replacement UMC worked using the button for a week or two before failing like this.
Wow. Nice trouble shooting. Perhaps there is a faulty connection between the receiver for the proximity sensor that opens the charge port when you push the button on the UMC that leaves the car in a confused state. Clearly the connection the actuates the door is there; the door opens. And the car is aware that the port is open, but I bet there is another connection that prepares the chargers that is faulty. It fits your symptoms, including when you open the door with the UMC button, plug it in, and then select open charge port from the 17" screen it starts working without you touching the cable again.