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What’s the one thing you like the least about your Model 3?

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What kind of cars? Our Toyota, Honda, Audi, Porsche and more have all been on the right.

Well, the Mercedes E350 and Ford F150 (both of which I still have) both have the controls on the left stalk. On the Mercedes, the drive stalk is the same design as the Tesla and on the right of the steering wheel. Off topic, but the Mercedes also has a separate cruise stalk on the left as well that is easy to mistake for the blinker when trying to signal and annoyingly tries to turn on or off cruise. But the Mercedes auto wiper is much more sensitive/aggressive than the Tesla and, in general, works better. On the Ford, the wiper control is on the left stalk because that is the only stalk on the steering column.

But you probably are correct about Toyota and I misremembered the location of the wiper control on my previous FJ Cruiser. It was on the right stalk.

I agree with you that the wiper controls in total leave something to be desired, but the left stalk location doesn't bother me personally.
 
Less so now due to standardisation amongst car models/brands but it used to be that in the UK it would often be different as to which side the wiper stalk was on depending what car you were in. The first thing you'd do getting in a car was check where the wipers and lights were.
 
1. The phone "key". It was never great, but it used to work most of the time. Now it rarely unlocks on walk up, and when it does, it still makes me swipe my "card" most of the time. How does that make any sense?! It used to always lock on walk away, but now it never does. I've realized that I'm going to have to buy the fob, which is a joke. I shouldn't have to pay extra in order to lock/unlock my vehicle, let alone on a "luxury" vehicle.

They must have changed it from favoring your phone to favoring mine. I used to have a lot of problems with it. Lately it's been working fine. Except when I forgot that I'd left BT off.

But OP talks about two small circles. Don’t see small circles for fan speed on my controls. Where are yours? There’s a good size + and - for fan speed on my display one on each side and easy to distinguish. The only small circles I see are the white dots on the sliders. So I guess if not the ones I mentioned not sure what the two of you are referring to.

Sorry. The + and - are so teeny tiny that when he mentioned "circles" I just assumed there were some and I could not see them. You probably have better eyesight than I have if they look "good size" to you. I need reading glasses for close up.
 
I disagree: It was unreasonable to think they could make the car function properly on so many different phones and operating systems. The phone is not to blame that Tesla decided to use it as a key. And the phone is not to blame that Bluetooth is wonky and gets implemented differently on different devices.

Actually, there are Bluetooth standards and, as complex as they are, it's up to the phone maker to follow them. Due to the fact that my wife's Samsung S9 and my S8+ have been performing flawlessly as proximity keys for both our Model 3's for over a year, I have to think they did something right when it comes to implementing Bluetooth properly. This is not an accident, it's simply implementing Bluetooth that complies with the standards.

I love not having to carry around keys and that my doors automatically lock and unlock for me. I think it was brilliant to lever the tech most people are already carrying with them anyway (and I hope I never have to go back to replacing batteries in multiple remotes). Don't go crying to Tesla if your phone isn't up to the task, use your keycard or get a phone that complies with Bluetooth standards and avoid the temptation to load it up with poorly written software that is poorly tested and wreaks havoc with the BT stack.
 
So defensive. Everything you suggested, I had tried. I have gone through 3 phones already. All iPhones. It would work perfectly under a certain software version. Good for you that it works perfectly on your phones. Unfortunately it doesn’t work perfectly on mine and a lot of other fellow owners.
Call me old school but I don’t like the fact that I need to rely on my phone to open my cars door.

I don't know. I think it's silly to keep buying the same phone, loading it with the same apps and expecting a different outcome. Is that what "old school" means? Or does it mean you want a physical key? If that's it, the Tesla keycard should make you happy.
 
Sure, I have a laundry list of things I don’t like, but...

Closing the doors with the windows down just makes my entire body cringe. The sound it makes is one of cheap, nasty, econobox misery. It might be worse than any car I’ve experienced. Even thinking about it makes me want to curl up in the fetal position and cry. (Hold me?)

So, what’s your biggest bugbear with the Model 3?
There are already 9 pages of comments, it would be nice if the OP can make a summary list of the most useless or useful features.
 
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Actually, there are Bluetooth standards and, as complex as they are, it's up to the phone maker to follow them. [...] Don't go crying to Tesla if your phone isn't up to the task, use your keycard or get a phone that complies with Bluetooth standards ...

People who know more about this stuff than I do have explained elsewhere on TMC that the BT protocol leaves way too much leeway for phone manufacturers. The Tesla Model 3 is not the only "device" that has difficulty with BT. Bluetooth is an unreliable protocol upon which to base something as important as access to your car. My phone has been working flawlessly for several months now, but I know that I have to remember the key card just in case. So now I need TWO things, not just one. And the Tesla keyfob is a joke.

And it's pretty cavalier to tell car buyers that if they want to be able to open their car they have to buy a phone that's compatible with the car, and load only those apps that the car approves of. Tesla owes it to its buyers to assure that every single buyer can get into their car every single time and without undue hassle. A proper proximity fob should have come with every car. Not everybody wants a smartphone at all. Telling people "If you don't have a smartphone, we don't care about you as a customer" is rude.

I'm very happy that your two Samsung phones work perfectly. But not everybody wants the same phone you have. And watch out, because the next OS update on your phone could change that. It is not the responsibility of a car buyer to make sure their phone is compatible with the car, and stays compatible through all the OS updates. It is the responsibility of the car maker to assure that the buyer has reliable access to their car.

The mistake was introducing a brand new scheme, based on a wonky protocol that everyone knows is wonky, and the only backup a bare-bones key card. Or then offering to sell them a crappy bare-bones fob for $250 that does not even have proximity sensing.

panel gaps that are like snowflakes - each very unique

Someone said to me "The Tesla Model 3 has poorly-fitted panel gaps." We looked at my car. I didn't see any bad gaps. She said "There. And there. And there." My reply was "What? You mean that? I can barely tell the difference." Yeah, when I looked really, really close, I could tell that this gap was a little different than that one. Honestly, though, I don't give a sh!t. The car is the most comfortable to sit in I've ever owner, it's the nicest to drive I've ever owned, It's quicker than 99% of the cars on the road. And EAP is fantastic. What do I care if there's a tenth of a millimeter difference between panel gaps?