It's really hard for somebody else to tell you what is a must-have...the reason they are options is that some people go for them, and some people don't. By that metric none of them are must-haves. But certainly there are people that wouldn't buy a car without certain options, so by that metric they are must-haves...but only for some people, and we can't tell for sure if you are in that group or not.
My wife has a 2012 Model S. While it was loaded at the time, it doesn't have AWD, autopilot, folding mirrors, parking sensors, the new nose, the glass roof, Next Gen seats, premium seats, and whatever else they have added to the cars over the years. She refuses to even consider upgrading, so presumably none of the new features are must-haves for her.
When I sold my Roadster to buy a Model S a few months ago, I was planning on getting an S60 with no options (well, maybe AWD now that we live on an enormous hill - we have never wanted AWD before. Aside from cost, Tesla has removed the normal downsides), because none of them are that important to me. It turns out I got a fully loaded car; but that was only because it was a demo with a fantastic lease deal that was cheaper than a stripper car. Of course, I ENJOY the options, but not enough that I'd buy them. People don't believe it when they see my cars, but I am a pretty frugal guy.
By the way, our 2012 with 80k miles is smoother and quieter than our new Model S, and as far as I can tell has identical build quality inside and out. New cars are likely better than old cars on average, but definitely not in all cases.