Regarding the online polls showing many people willing to pay over 50k ... such polls are going to be self selective to people who are Tesla fans AND tech-savvy and so on, members of the various Tesla communities, etc, and are unlikely to be representative of the overall reservation pool. Plus, I doubt many of them have actually considered all the costs involved - looking at what the loan payments will be, higher insurance rates, sales taxes, etc... just because you know it's a factor doesn't mean you've sat down and done the math (to then be potentially dismayed at the results). And a lot of people might "just make it work" but be living on financial thin ice, which isn't good for anyone.
As for the kids credits ... There are a lot of us married filing jointly without kids. People have been waiting longer and longer to have children. We could use that EV credit. I really don't think we're in a particularly unique situation.
Although we have paid off both our ICE vehicles years ago, we have a mortgage that isn't cheap (though it was the spike in property values that surprised us after being here a while - we were totally comfortable with where we started), and housing values around here keep going up so we can expect our property taxes to keep going up too. An extra 500-600/mo in car payments (assuming 10k downpayment and very long loan period - much higher with lower downpayment or shorter loan) is not fun, and severely limits our ability to save money for future things (including kids, if we want to have them). And again, car insurance may go up sharply for many.
I don't personally know anyone who could just shrug off a 500/mo or more payment without caring, except for a few who can afford to buy with cash outright, but they're an exception (and more likely to shop for S/X).
Financially speaking, I'd rather buy a SR Model 3 w/ PUP and EAP, even with tax credit. With tax credit, I could possibly consider stretching to the LR Model 3 w/ PUP and EAP. However, with the possibility of missing the tax credit (line waiter but non-owner), I am forced into an uncomfortable position.
I can pay more than I want to get a car with tax credit sooner (though the tax credit does not make up the difference in LR vs SR, there are practical benefits to the LR over SR that have some value of their own), or pay less (but not as less as I could have if going the cheaper route with tax credit) without tax credit, and give up things I'd like.
If there wasn't a huge backlog I'd consider cancelling and waiting another year if we miss the credit window (and saving for another year to have a larger downpayment so that the loan payments are lower), but there's no guarantee I can just go and get the car when I want, I might be waiting longer than a year extra - and our existing ICE are nearing a decade old, and are likely to start having expensive repairs after another year or so, at which point perhaps we're actually not saving money by saving money.