I lost it with the switch to Telsa Vision, aka remove a perfectly good radar in favour of a camera. Car worked mostly fine before that, the odd phantom braking here and there, etc. but it was generally trending better. Since Vision, every update either makes things worse or removes a feature. It's inexcusable to fundamentally change a product for the worse so badly after someone has bought it. I fully expect them to remove the USS support within a year, because we can't have people with older cars driving around with better functionality than the new stuff.
Let's look at all the fun regressions cars with radar have had to suffer through, I appreciated these have probably been done to death:
1. The adaptive cruise can no longer keep a good distance. When I first got the car, it maintained such a perfect distance I could feel the car in front change gear. They then loosened it, which was fine and I understand why people would want it to be more elastic. However, with Vision it requires constant baby sitting with the throttle. If you go down a hill, it'll open up a massive distance to the car in front. Once you reach the bottom and go back up, it'll charge up to the car in front and tailgate them. Which is odd, because on the flat if the car in front goes a little faster, Vision won't accelerate until they're way off in the distance. Then it'll speed up a little, then a little more, then a little more until it's caught right up to the car in front, then suddenly start slowing down again. So you have to give it a bit of throttle to keep up with the car in front so you mostly maintain constant distance.
2. Phantom braking... with a timer. I know some people don't get this too much, but with Vision any reasonable journey will have at least one minor phantom brake. Larger journeys will have more. Every so often I'll get a big one. It's also as if the braking is just based on a timer. If something appears in front, no matter how brief, it's given a 'severity' score. Low severity? Small braking for a second or two. High severity? Heavy braking for 10 seconds. The thing in front could be long gone, but it's still braking away until the timer has elapsed. You just have to gently lift the throttle to see if it's braking or not. If it is, depress the throttle fully again. No hard braking on the slight lift? Cruise can take over again.
3. Frontal collsion warning. I've set this to 'late' now, and it's mostly OK... ish. But oh my goodness is this thing ever over-sensitive. On 'normal' if anything in front brakes harder than a light slow down, you get a blaring siren. Even on late, it loves to freak out about parked cars on the side of the road.
4. Lane departure warning & correction. When I first got the car, you would at most just get an alert, and it was rare. Now, it grabs the wheel and try and push you back into lane, even if that lane is the oncoming one with a car in it. I've turned off one of these, and left the one that turns itself back on with every drive. Much better now, since it's just gentle nudge rather than full autopilot force torque. The thing is, it's only ever once actually picked up me straying out of lane when distracted. Every other time, and they're quite a lot on narrow country roads, is false. Greenery hanging over the edge of the road? Lane departure. Water making the side of the road look darker? Lane departure. Shadow from hedge? Lane departure. Actually shifting to the side of the road by accident? No warning.
5. Forced auto wipers. Auto wipers have always sucked, and they always will. But they weren't forced, and you could just control them manually. Not anymore! Even basic cruise control inexplicably requires them. If you keep the front camera area religiously clean, they don't engage too much on a dry sunny day with low sun. If you're driving along a road lined with trees, the shadows will trigger them though, dry or not. Of course if it's actually wet and you're getting spray, they won't engage. Honestly, the auto wipers can be downright dangerous. One time I was on the motorway and started to pass a lorry. It was dry, but there was spray on the road. As I started to pass, it was like I was suddenly driving through niagra falls, and the screen became opaque and the wipers of course didn't engage. So I had to frantically press the button to single wipe over and over, and it wasn't safe to look down and press the applicable wiper speed. Then just as I was out of the spray the car absolutely freaked out about no visibility, cruise turns off, the lot. Maybe, just maybe, it should have turned on the wipers...
6. Forced high beam. It was terrible when I got the car, it was terrible when they first forced it on with Vision, and it's still unacceptable now. It's not terrible and basically blinding/flashing everyone now - but it is still not fit for purpose. It'll dip and then full beam, dip, full beam, over and over for signs on the side of the road. If cars in the oncoming side are partially occluded by barriers, greenery, etc. then it'll happily blind them. Cars driving in the same lane mostly won't be blinded from the rear, but it can't always be guaranteed. And of course, always drive with full high beam in town with street lighting... No auto high beam is perfect, albeit the Tesla one is the worst on the market since 2012. The problem is you can't just manually shift into manual mode in situations where it doesn't work well.
7. I can't really blame this on Vision, and it might just be my car. But the indicators are less responsive switching from one direction to the other than they've ever been. Indicating off a roundabout is becoming quite hit and miss. I've even had my indicator stalk replaced.
8. Random freak outs. These are rare, but they used to never happen. Vision can just completely lose the plot and freak out and turn off if it thinks it can't see. There's two specific circumstances where this has happened with me. Cresting a hill in shadow, I think it just couldn't see very well and freaked out and turned off. The other happens every so often. If I dare to wash the windscreen with more than 1 squirt I'm playing with fire. The camera can't see through the 'rain' and freaks out and disengages. The wipers also go full speed... on a now dry screen. Just like with the phantom braking, I have to wait for the 'timer' to elapse before I can enable cruise / autopilot again. Otherwise the wipers will immediately go back to full speed due to the auto enforcement - regardless of how dry the screen now is.
For me, the big ones are the forced auto wipers and high beam. Mixed with all the other 'features' the car is deciding it can drive better than the driver, despite driving worse than a first-session learner driver in many cases. By forcing all of these things, you're no longer in control. The car is in control, and it's getting more brain damaged as time goes on. I used to rave and rave and rave about Tesla. At least one person got one as a result of my ravings. However, now whenever anyone asks I tell them 'don't get one' and tell them of my experiences. More than one person has decided against a Tesla as a result, and I know my experiences aren't new or novel. It's at the point where passengers are starting to get nervous because of the blaring sirens when there's no issue, and occasional heavy braking with sirens and again, no issue. I'm getting asked to 'go manual' even from people who aren't phased with spirited driving.
If these experiences don't tally with yours and you're thinking 'what an idiot' or 'his car is broken'. Know this, I used to think like you. I thought 'I never have any of that' and carried on blissfully unaware. If you keep your car long enough, sooner or later the software regressions are going to happen to you. I wish I sold mine when the second hand values were crazy, rather than in the tank like they are now.
Of course if you're reading this, and my car is for sale. This entire post is a work of fiction, the car is amazing. Pay whatever the asking is.