Sorry to hear that you missed it, that is from me, I am not connected with Tesla, just an investor.
Agree with you that empathic acknowledgement of misfortune seems to flow better than not saying anything.
Perhaps Tesla may need to develop a generic disclaimer for all customers. The disclaimer would have to be acknowledged prior to ordering.
The disclaimer may state many things, including something to the effect "Tesla is continually upgrading cars with new features. Complexity of our logistic process may result in you not getting some of newly developed features incorporated in your car, whilst some other cars produced at the same time may get the new feature. This allocation is completely random and unintentional. We are sorry if that happens to you" etc etc
My personal experience with delivering bad news is that such news are received with far less anguish if people on the receiving end have understanding of why they got unlucky. It is helpful if their experience of being unlucky can be de personalised by providing appropriate facts and explanations. In this case some explanations of the process complexity, number of cars being affected (not sure about that, maybe), the flow of cars through the pipeline, etc. If appropriate and not damaging in some other way, perhaps such information might be helpful.
Or perhaps Tesla can do a bit better than the above. Throw in some generic sweetener to unlucky customers that fall into the pipeline with upgraded cars. Sweetener lessens the pain better than just words. It might be difficult to discern where to draw the line for the sweetener.
Tesla do have such a disclaimer. I personally think it needs some work as it comes across a bit harsh IMO. I think at some point they may need to revise their policy on hardware upgrades as it inevitably always causes some annoyance and dissent due to its seemingly random unfairness. Anyone caught on the wrong side of this is always going to be unhappy regardless of the disclaimer.
My beef with the process is that even in Tesla's disclaimer they state that "[FONT=&] ..a number of features might be launched the day after a customer takes delivery of any car.[/FONT]"; however, in the "black hole" scenario a feature was released before we had taken delivery of the car and for even worse optics, some owners had their cars delivered before us and with more features. Normally the technology trade off is you get technology early you might get less features, not the reverse. Incidentally being given the pat lecture on Tesla innovation after dropping $40K to upgrade to the latest technology felt like a bit of a slap. Trust me, I get how it normally works. Anyway, I've taken the delayed approach and hopefully I'll have my dream car by the end of January and for any features that arrive after that I'll suck it up and try to keep the whining to a minimum.
Disclaimer Excerpt
[FONT=&]We do not comment on potential future features. Please note that innovation is a continuous process at Tesla: we do not have traditional model years. As such, a number of features might be launched the day after a customer takes delivery of any car. If you are happy with the product we currently sell, you should order one. If you would rather wait, that is also possible. Just note that there will always be a newer feature introduced in the near future. As a small public company under tremendous scrutiny and pressure, we do not communicate about future product development.[/FONT]