TEG, don't forget that DC fast chargers do use 3-phase as input. In the US, it seems the slower "Level 2" EVSE units (such as the current SAE J1772 AC Level 2 chargers/EVSE units) are the ones which use single and/or split phase (I'm not not an expert, just following the public discussion of this subject)...
Yes, I think you understand the situation.
most american has the idea, their current grid mostly based on single-phase or even split-phase are sufficient for the future. the answer is NO! Even if you got a 100A fuse, the utility gives you an average of max. 10A consumption over the year.
While as long as your are the only one in the neighborhood its fine. But if half of your neighbors owns an electric car as well, everything changes. The local transformer is distributing the 3-phases to the homes, giving every street one of the phases. If to many cars start charging, the transformer will blast or simply switch off under overload. The utility has to setup bigger transformer and to introduce smart grid abilities to limit power-consumption during peak time.
The simplest is monitoring the voltage, the phase shift and to reduce the current, when a grid overload is indicated. With 3-phases, its much easier and the less used phases can be better balanced out...
We have heard Eberhard praise the benefits of 3-phase charging ad-nauseum, and it starts to feel like 'beating a dead horse', but not because the idea lacks technical merit, but more because it doesn't seem 'in the cards' for it to happen anytime soon in the USA. To be clear, the USA grid has plenty of 3 phase to industrial and large business locations. The problem is with the residential feeds. Eberhard is right about the phases getting split apart and fed to different clusters of houses. I know from my own experience here that many power companies will do the absolute minimum they can get away with on infrastructure upgrade expenditures. It would be nice to be proven wrong, but I just don't see 3 phases coming into residential neighborhoods like they have in many parts of Europe. Even if there are valid technical reasons to do upgrades, there are costs, regulations, tariffs, and political forces that slow or prevent such changes.