how to convince wife to approve getting a model X?

[blancexx]

I'm pretty into model x right now given recent incentives, and test drives we've been doing. and how it has large space and many cool techs etc.
However, I can't find a way to convince my wife, to allow me to get the X for the family.
The top 2 points for her to not get one are:

1. The look. for near 100k, exterior looks worse than the 30k civic we have now. Interior is just alright.
2. Screens and all the unconventional handling. For one, she doesn't enjoy learning new way of doing things, that don't have apparent benefits, some even has drawbacks. And it's a safety hazard to look at not so large fonts to find various functionalities, while driving.

And than there are other things she doesn't like, but can at least try look past them.

1. bad build quality, for a near 100k car. Likely needing to go for service repair multiple times a year. (judging from most of user experience sharing we've seen online)
2. Too fast. especially for her as a passenger
3. falcon door too flashy and draws unwanted attention

FWIW, we can afford 100k car, but it's also not pocket change, and we generally don't spend extra on "luxury" things. She does say that 50k might be ok and even if we dump it in a year it won't be that much a loss financially. but model Y is just too ugly even for me to consider it (purely personal opinion)
Any advice to help get her to approve the purchase?

 

[johnnycnote]

I had the same issue with my wife when looking at a MY. Solved it by getting a M3 for myself and got her an ICE Volvo a year later. She doesn't like the minimalist look of the interior, freaks out about no speedometer, and it's too fast

Good luck!

 

[houstonian]

Any advice to help get her to approve the purchase?

You're the head of the household. No approval is needed.

...says a surprisingly single Houstonian...happily from his Model X...

 

[scottf200]

You sit inside cars most of the time; not sure why people get overly hung up on the minor look differences of areo designed cars.

You can drive it in mode "chill". {Chill: Limits acceleration for a smoother ride}. You can have two profiles ... one when you have passengers and one when you are driving by yourself or others that are not affected by your driving (some people modulate their accel pedal WAY better than others).

You can change the font size under the menu option 'Display' now (scroll to bottom).

The Big Sky windshield is one of my favorite features in road tripping to parks, cities, forest, etc.

 

[Bigriver]

@blancexx, would one of you be the primary driver, or do you regularly share cars back and forth? Do you have kids and what kind of “people hauling” is needed of the car?

I too initially had some of her concerns. I thought it was a clunky looking car and the doors too flashy. I recommend black or the midnight silver to minimize the clunky look. I think without the chrome that accented lines that shouldn’t be accented, it actually looks pretty good now. I have also learned to love the falcon wing doors. Getting them out of the way to load things and people is amazing. Normal doors now feel clunky and in the way to me.

The techno-phobe is perhaps the hardest point. I have several friends who fit into that category and I wonder if I could ever get them to be content with a Tesla. I am not sure. One specific point is that you aren’t fumbling to find things while driving… the menu structure is pretty good and is not hard to learn. How is she with a smart phone? What I do find hard to learn now is a car with lots of buttons. Buttons aren’t labeled and you have a myriad of symbols to guess what they do. (My recent experience in a subaru.) A menu with words is far easier. There are not as many cryptic symbols.

I am also not that into a fast car, but I do love the acceleration of a Tesla. It is a practical thing. Merging onto highways is so easy and stress free. It is kind of like cooking on a gas stove - you want to be up to a certain temperature (speed) and you instantly are.

 

[jboy210]

My wife went for the 3 LR because my X was too big and bulky for her driving style, and since we are empty nesters she does not need the space. She considered the performance upgrade, but decided the ride was too stiff. But if the 3-performance had air suspension I bet we would have one those in the garage right now.

 

[johnnycnote]

You sit inside cars most of the time; not sure why people get overly hung up on the minor look differences of areo designed cars.

You can drive it in mode "chill". {Chill: Limits acceleration for a smoother ride}. You can have two profiles ... one when you have passengers and one when you are driving by yourself or others that are not affected by your driving (some people modulate their accel pedal WAY better than others).

You can change the font size under the menu option 'Display' now (scroll to bottom).

The Big Sky windshield is one of my favorite features in road tripping to parks, cities, forest, etc.

You are assuming that most people make decisions rooted in logic rather than emotions

 

[johnnycnote]

With a $100k budget you're close to getting a Tesla for yourself and something else for her

 

[Sandiegodoug]

We bought because of safety. At the time , only suv that would not roll in an emergency. Also, car is a tank. Odds are you will survive a crash, not necessarily the car that hit you.

 

[blancexx]

@blancexx, would one of you be the primary driver, or do you regularly share cars back and forth? Do you have kids and what kind of “people hauling” is needed of the car?

I too initially had some of her concerns. I thought it was a clunky looking car and the doors too flashy. I recommend black or the midnight silver to minimize the clunky look. I think without the chrome that accented lines that shouldn’t be accented, it actually looks pretty good now. I have also learned to love the falcon wing doors. Getting them out of the way to load things and people is amazing. Normal doors now feel clunky and in the way to me.

The techno-phobe is perhaps the hardest point. I have several friends who fit into that category and I wonder if I could ever get them to be content with a Tesla. I am not sure. One specific point is that you aren’t fumbling to find things while driving… the menu structure is pretty good and is not hard to learn. How is she with a smart phone? What I do find hard to learn now is a car with lots of buttons. Buttons aren’t labeled and you have a myriad of symbols to guess what they do. (My recent experience in a subaru.) A menu with words is far easier. There are not as many cryptic symbols.

I am also not that into a fast car, but I do love the acceleration of a Tesla. It is a practical thing. Merging onto highways is so easy and stress free. It is kind of like cooking on a gas stove - you want to be up to a certain temperature (speed) and you instantly are.

we will likely share it. I drive more because she doesn't like driving for the most part. but we do go out on one car 90% of the time.
No kids, not planning to have one. we just hang out with friends from time to time, who mostly doesn't need to ride with us but sometime it's more conveniant to drive just one car. And our family visits us about once a year, for few weeks, where we'd have 6 people total. 2 car would work, but 1 car would make things a lot more simpler.

Wife is ok with smartphone, but not tech savy at all. I'm doing most of the tech related stuff, and setting stuff up for her. smartphone is one thing she can mostly get it working for simple youtube/text/phone/web needs.

"you aren’t fumbling to find things while driving" -> her main complains also involves all quirky things with tesla.. like regenerative braking removes low speed at creeping, making it hard to do precise control. blinker/horn are touch button, harder to do when turning, and under emergency etc..
I tried to argue with her that she'd get used to these, but she just doesn't want to go through the motion to get used to these, as one she think these are inherently inferior way of handling car, and two she's not into the car itself so no incentives to do it..

I actually rented model x for a day. what can i do to with the car to change her heart (knowing she doesn't like being flashy and draw attentions to her..)

 

[blancexx]

With a $100k budget you're close to getting a Tesla for yourself and something else for her

true. only thing is that i'm not a big fun of 3/y myself. for their look, and their ride quality/noise/space.

 

[AW9nineteen]

Easy, don’t. Wait and get the new Escalade or evaluate the R1S harder. Not really complaints against our X, but I think the gap is closed when compared to those two cars. My park assist has terrible accuracy, probably 20-30% useful. Those numbers are only good in the MLB.

I never understand the safety thing. Is it for a major collision? Because all of the safety features are no better than the competition. Potentially worse without a front Bumper camera and cross traffic.

(I have an MS and MX, so not bashing but just being honest)

 

[dafish]

Each home is different. My wife, while she denies it, makes 90% of the decisions. The 10% I make take her wants and desires under deep consideration, even argument, but at the end of the day somebody has to own the tough calls. So: If this is the single right decision, not your "want", then you bring it home and that's that. If this is "I really want one", then you and she need to reach a better method of compromising on wants. Sometimes somebody has to give. Most of the time I just give in (Happy wife), but sometimes it's OK to ask for your turn in the compromise bucket once in a while.

Thus your first step is deciding if an "X" is the single correct choice, or just a "but I like/want". If the former time to make the tough call. The latter? Time to own up to a little selfishness and work on compromise.

And yes, that makes me sound like an older moderate/traditional male. Mosly because I am. I've also been married once and for 40 years. When you can say that feel free to argue with me.

BTW, I skipped several EV's that my wife rejected that I would have said yes too. All for look and feel. EG: Ioniq 5. I also rejected a few she dearly loved. EG: Mach-E. In the end she said yes to a YLR not knowing I was done and she was getting one regardless. I gave it to her on valentines and the jealous sounds of her friends moved her needle all the way over.

 

[blancmik]

I had the same issue with my wife when looking at a MY. Solved it by getting a M3 for myself and got her an ICE Volvo a year later. She doesn't like the minimalist look of the interior, freaks out about no speedometer, and it's too fast

Good luck!

This! I can certainly relate!

 

[zoomer0056]

Does tour wife know to came to TMC for help with this?

I copied your post and asked ChatGpt. It responded with a lot of good points and ended by saying:

"Ultimately, your wife's comfort and safety are important. Listen to her concerns and try to find common ground by addressing each point thoughtfully."

 

[ucmndd]

Any advice to help get her to approve the purchase?

Pretend like you don’t want it any more.

 

[holmesm1]

Keep in mind there are many voice activated commands that work pretty well and might lessen some of that technophobia. I haven't seen whether or not you have taken her on a test drive and/or rented one. Some people are sold as soon as they try it, others not so much, but worth trying.

 

[ithinkmac]

We're on our 3rd X. First X, wife hated it. The FWD were too flashy, she don't like getting looks when dropping kids off in school. She likes the ride-height and that's about it. Took her a while to get used to it. She likes the idea of not having to pay for gas. Our '16 had free supercharging, but reality, we only use SuperCharging when doing road trips. For somebody who thinks the X is flashy, she sure love our Range Rover Sport.

Then we got a '21 X, by now, the '16 X was her daily driver, so she's used to everything, she rarely drives the RRS or the Model 3. She still complains about the FWDs, now they're just too slow. Zombies will get us before the door close. She only learn how to use the basic, everything else is automatic. So the interface issue is not really a thing. With the integration of Apple Music it's even better, she's familiar with her playlist, and that's all she needs.

When I got my Taycan, we traded in the '19 Sport, we were barely driving it now, just sits in the garage. Then we got the '22 Plaid, she NOW LOVES the X. It was easier getting in and out, we're getting older, harder to jump into the Range Rover, she's barely 5'1. She hated the yoke and touch buttons on the yoke. When the wheel was available, we got it immediately. With the wheel. She's super happy with the new X. I put it in chill mode for her (as others have mentioned). She drives her tri-motor Plaid on the slow lane. lol. She loves the car now, because she slowly learn how to use the Tesla UI over the past 7 years of Tesla ownership. Now she said she'll only drive Tesla from now on, not because they're great cars, or have good build quality, because she's used to their interface, and know where things are, and can operate it like a normal car.

So lots of it have to do with familiarity. If you're wife is willing to learn (even a little bit at a time), then it becomes easier every day to accept the car.

Also few wins for her over the years.

1. Superchargers are always at well lit locations and good locations, not the back of Walmart in a dark corner.
2. She don't have worry about maintenance. She's super afraid of service centers taking advantage of her. She's super intimidated when she brings the Range Rover in for service.
3. Mobile Service comes out to our house, we just park the X out back/front, and the tech starts working on it, without need to deal with my wife much (if at all).
4. No gas fill ups (she never goes to the gas station anyway, not sure if this matters to her, but she mentioned it).
5. she likes the idea of auto pilot, when we get older and she's not good at driving, she's hoping between a NEW Tesla and Optimus robot, she'll be taken care of some mobility issues. So she starts learning Tesla appliances now.
6. To her, the X is a normal car, because it's everywhere (consider it's like $165k when we bought it, even more expensive than my Porsche). The Range Rover and Porsche are flashy cars. Tesla is just Tesla. To her, it's like Accords and Camrys. Don't understand this logic, but as others have said, 'Happy Wife..."

-ThinkMac-

 

[EbS-P]

It is the most under stated 100k+ vehicle on the road while the doors are closed. I bet a majority of the people in the US can’t pick a MY from a MX while it’s in motion. Once you stop and the doors go up sure it’s going to get noticed.

If she has to drive it she will not like the larger turning radius. Been diving mine for 18 months and I’m just used to it now compared to my minivan.

You could always bluff and say you need a roomy 6-7 seat electric vehicle now and the only other option is the plug in Pacifica given the choice what she wants to ride around in which would she choose? Honestly get a M3 (performance or regular) you can’t go wrong there with the tax credit, and wait for to what the Kia EV9 has to offer when it’s available.

Or get one used. That way you will know what it’s like when it’s out of warranty without all the depreciation I like mine. But there are so many more things to spend 40-50k on that would make her happier. Can you compromise on the MS? How long have you know your wife? And you are asking strangers how to persuade her…. If the safety argument wasn’t enough I’m not sure what would work.

Got it… you need a solar install and power wall and now you can charge it on excess solar. Now it’s free to drive.

Happy wife happy life.

 

[Zuikkis]

You could always bluff and say you need a roomy 6-7 seat electric vehicle now and the only other option is the plug in Pacifica given the choice what she wants to ride around in which would she choose? Honestly get a M3 (performance or regular) you can’t go wrong there with the tax credit, and wait for to what the Kia EV9 has to offer when it’s available.

This is the single reason I bought my MX (2016 P90DL) last year. We need at least six seats and kids were getting too big for the rear facing jump seats in our 2013 MS.

There really is no alternative here in Europe. They don't have the 7-seater MY here.

Kia EV9 would probably fit, though. But the models coming now are a 150kW RWD and 282kW AWD, and I'm not sure that's enough for me after experiencing Ludicrous. Kia is planning a higher power GT version but it will probably be released at 2025...