TL;DR version: For safety and peace of mind, use the key card as the primary key, with the smart phone as a normally-disabled backup.
Ok, so replying to no one post in particular, I come to the following conclusion. Thanks for this interesting and informative discussion.
I would use the key card as my primary key, and the phone as secondary / backup. I don't like the idea of the car automatically unlocking with my any farther away than about 5- 10 feet, because it leads to all sorts of security problems. Besides the issue I noted earlier about sketchy parking lot situations, I can imagine the car unlocking (and cheerfully lighting up when it does so) when walking around the house at night. Think bedroom adjacent to carport. If the car is accessible to the night-time "public", that could be bad. I'm also one to always lock and test that the doors are actually locked, before I walk away, so I wouldn't trust an auto-lock feature. If the range is long enough, and since by definition my back is turned to the car, it would be extremely easy for someone to slip into the car as I leave, either to await my return, or to remove whatever happens to be in the car without my permission. Again, this is only a significant risk if the range is more than about 5-10 feet, but the consensus seems to be that it will be.
If you want to unlock all doors, by the way, we should be able to either tap twice or tap-and-hold the key card on the B-pillar, just like I do with my other cars. That is how other cars solve the parking lot unlock problem on an entry-by-entry basis (vs being pre-programmed one way or the other).
(BTW, our Honda CRV has an auto-lock feature that presumes a certain use pattern of unlocks and door openings, which tends to leave the car locked within our closed garage when it has no business to. That forces me to utter something ungentlemanly, before having to go back into the house for my keys. It's very annoying, and I can see this system behaving similarly.)
The issue of forgetting your phone in the car is a real one, since by doing so the car would a) remain unlocked, and b) provide a juicy target for a thief, both the phone itself, and the whole rest of the car while they're at it. If I use the key card to lock the car, while the enabled phone is in the car (say, in my wife's purse), the car will re-unlock itself without my knowledge. Tesla could presumably program the car to beep at me under these circumstances, but I don't believe they do this with the MS/X fob today.
Remote enabling of COP, cabin pre-heat, etc. via the App presumably doesn't require or trigger the phone-as-key to be enabled. If so, I would object strongly. These need to be kept independent.
So, keep the keycard on your keyring (it's just a very flat key fob, after all), tap to enter the car and start it. Tap again to lock on your way out. Safe, secure, and still high on the convenience scale as "keyless" systems go.
One last point, or rather, question... I am assuming in all this that the key card does not automatically enable Valet mode by its use, right?