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Tesla Poetry / Limericks / Haiku
- Thread starter Half Dollar Bill
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Way Too Much Time On My Hands
(Originally Posted On Tesla Motors Forum by J.T.)
I found the Tesla Forum just about two years ago
I read a bunch of threads discussing things I didn’t know
They talked about the software, the performance and the range
It’s funny how it’s been two years and nothing here has changed.
I started my due diligence and read about each option
Then learned that there were orphan cars just waiting for adoption
Too bad for me that none of those matched anything I wanted
So even though I’d have to wait I took the plunge undaunted.
I ordered a white 85 with pano, tech and air
With tan seats and piano black, the tires, standard fare.
And then I felt I missed a step, I’d never seen a live one
So I found my local gallery and asked if I could drive one.
I know it sounds ridiculous to buy a Tesla blind
I don’t know what was going on but my wife seemed not to mind.
“You deserve to treat yourself, you’ve worked hard all your life.”
I said, “That’s really sweet, now tell me where the hell’s my wife!”
My test drive was incredible, it puts on quite a show.
Of course, this isn’t anything you don’t already know.
But after that those 7 weeks seemed like they’d never end
And as most of you have figured out the dashboard’s not your friend.
But what to do to kill the time where could I get a fix?
The forum beckoned with all kinds of info, tips and tricks.
Newbies, experts, trolls and goofs all come here just to see
What others in the Tesla world are guessing what will be.
You get a sense quite early on of posters you should follow
Their data is rock solid where some others’ might be hollow.
They share their knowledge and their time, they do it out of love
For a company whose mission is to be a cut above.
The level of intelligence exhibited each day
Is rivaled by the nonsense when some posters have their say
I’ve always thought I’d make a list of members to pay heed to
But after time you get it so it’s something I don’t need to.
The seven weeks were up and yet my car was still not ready
My Dashboard showed that nothing changed and it was holding steady.
My DS was on top of it he said I’d have it soon.
I was new but knew that “soon” turned Aprils into Junes.
Finally the day arrived I reached Long Island City
I had Nick Howe’s checklist in hand and gee, my car looked pretty.
My DS started showing me the things I had to know
But you guys had prepared me well and I just had to GO!!!
I finally got out of there and hit the LIE
The potholes, cops and traffic jams no longer bothered me
“Cause I was in a space boat made from Elon’s light and wonder
And Teslaitis was the spell it seemed I’d fallen under.
Without a doubt the forum was the key to my decision
I never took a risk like that not since my circumcision
First model of a brand new car, an infant company
Not even a review to read from Edmund’s or C&D.
But members of the Forum, lolachampcar and CZ,
(Two people who knew so much more about this stuff than me.)
Said that the Model S was an incredible achievement
And anyone who owned the car was lockstep in agreement.
The more you drive the car you learn there’s so much more to know,
Like when to charge it, how to wash it, “How far can I go?”
So back into the Forum to find threads on every topic
And also to find out that Tesla can be quite myopic.
There was no search, no easy way to find out what you wished
So nickjhowe spawned Volkerize to give us an assist
But even then we still were swamped with questions about range
And also why the rated mile algorithms changed
That’s when I got the idea to create an FAQ,
To have a thread where newbies can find everything to do
To make their car and travels more efficient and more fun
And gather information pertinent to everyone.
I like to think it’s made the Forum better in some way
It’s stopped a lot of questions we’d see each and every day
I’ve asked Tesla to make it stick to keep the thread in view
But if they did NKYTA would have nothing left to do.
The Ownership experience for me has been the best
A rocket ship to drive and service centers that don’t rest
Call me fanboi if you like I wear the badge with pride
There is no sense denying it, this grin I cannot hide.
(Originally Posted On Tesla Motors Forum by J.T.)
I found the Tesla Forum just about two years ago
I read a bunch of threads discussing things I didn’t know
They talked about the software, the performance and the range
It’s funny how it’s been two years and nothing here has changed.
I started my due diligence and read about each option
Then learned that there were orphan cars just waiting for adoption
Too bad for me that none of those matched anything I wanted
So even though I’d have to wait I took the plunge undaunted.
I ordered a white 85 with pano, tech and air
With tan seats and piano black, the tires, standard fare.
And then I felt I missed a step, I’d never seen a live one
So I found my local gallery and asked if I could drive one.
I know it sounds ridiculous to buy a Tesla blind
I don’t know what was going on but my wife seemed not to mind.
“You deserve to treat yourself, you’ve worked hard all your life.”
I said, “That’s really sweet, now tell me where the hell’s my wife!”
My test drive was incredible, it puts on quite a show.
Of course, this isn’t anything you don’t already know.
But after that those 7 weeks seemed like they’d never end
And as most of you have figured out the dashboard’s not your friend.
But what to do to kill the time where could I get a fix?
The forum beckoned with all kinds of info, tips and tricks.
Newbies, experts, trolls and goofs all come here just to see
What others in the Tesla world are guessing what will be.
You get a sense quite early on of posters you should follow
Their data is rock solid where some others’ might be hollow.
They share their knowledge and their time, they do it out of love
For a company whose mission is to be a cut above.
The level of intelligence exhibited each day
Is rivaled by the nonsense when some posters have their say
I’ve always thought I’d make a list of members to pay heed to
But after time you get it so it’s something I don’t need to.
The seven weeks were up and yet my car was still not ready
My Dashboard showed that nothing changed and it was holding steady.
My DS was on top of it he said I’d have it soon.
I was new but knew that “soon” turned Aprils into Junes.
Finally the day arrived I reached Long Island City
I had Nick Howe’s checklist in hand and gee, my car looked pretty.
My DS started showing me the things I had to know
But you guys had prepared me well and I just had to GO!!!
I finally got out of there and hit the LIE
The potholes, cops and traffic jams no longer bothered me
“Cause I was in a space boat made from Elon’s light and wonder
And Teslaitis was the spell it seemed I’d fallen under.
Without a doubt the forum was the key to my decision
I never took a risk like that not since my circumcision
First model of a brand new car, an infant company
Not even a review to read from Edmund’s or C&D.
But members of the Forum, lolachampcar and CZ,
(Two people who knew so much more about this stuff than me.)
Said that the Model S was an incredible achievement
And anyone who owned the car was lockstep in agreement.
The more you drive the car you learn there’s so much more to know,
Like when to charge it, how to wash it, “How far can I go?”
So back into the Forum to find threads on every topic
And also to find out that Tesla can be quite myopic.
There was no search, no easy way to find out what you wished
So nickjhowe spawned Volkerize to give us an assist
But even then we still were swamped with questions about range
And also why the rated mile algorithms changed
That’s when I got the idea to create an FAQ,
To have a thread where newbies can find everything to do
To make their car and travels more efficient and more fun
And gather information pertinent to everyone.
I like to think it’s made the Forum better in some way
It’s stopped a lot of questions we’d see each and every day
I’ve asked Tesla to make it stick to keep the thread in view
But if they did NKYTA would have nothing left to do.
The Ownership experience for me has been the best
A rocket ship to drive and service centers that don’t rest
Call me fanboi if you like I wear the badge with pride
There is no sense denying it, this grin I cannot hide.
roblab
Active Member
I wrote a 4 minute rap song about Tesla/EVs. I won't post the whole thing here, but here's a tiny excerpt: (yes, it is intended for comedic purposes)
.....
Back when we partied like it's '99
When we was still usin' AOL to get online
GM went against the grind and made a car so fine
An electric coupe, perfect by design
But oil thugs pulled the plug, cut it down in its prime
Bein' ahead of its time was its only crime
As I pour out a 40 for my EV-1,
I think of all the battles that we've lost and won
But now we back mother******s like we ain't been gone
'Cus the real Tony Stark, that's my man Elon
Built a Roadster that runs on electrons
Made the whole world say "What the **** you on?
Thought electrics was s'posed to make you wanna yawn?
But this ****'s like a light cycle from TRON."
.....
.....
Back when we partied like it's '99
When we was still usin' AOL to get online
GM went against the grind and made a car so fine
An electric coupe, perfect by design
But oil thugs pulled the plug, cut it down in its prime
Bein' ahead of its time was its only crime
As I pour out a 40 for my EV-1,
I think of all the battles that we've lost and won
But now we back mother******s like we ain't been gone
'Cus the real Tony Stark, that's my man Elon
Built a Roadster that runs on electrons
Made the whole world say "What the **** you on?
Thought electrics was s'posed to make you wanna yawn?
But this ****'s like a light cycle from TRON."
.....
Last edited:
Ok, Half Dollar, thank you so much for starting this thread. It's just great!! My own pathetic effort:
Go on long road trip,
supercharger enabled:
Bliss, and not stinky
Go on long road trip,
supercharger enabled:
Bliss, and not stinky
I'm not trying to bump this thread,
but this riddle's been stuck in my head:
If driving a tesla inspires such pleasure,
why am I reading this forum instead?
but this riddle's been stuck in my head:
If driving a tesla inspires such pleasure,
why am I reading this forum instead?
Anxiety Ranger has long beat the boards,
Debated the X and lectured the hoards,
His soliloquies often expound on a point,
That gets Nigel's nose going quite out of joint,
He expands on his theories, some wise and some not,
The goat he is getting is stirring the pot,
But lively debate sits on back of some mules,
And a mule, not a goat, is what currently rules,
All the theories and wind that we all have let loose,
In X theories, next theories, and camouflage ruse,
Will soon be quite moot, at some nearby date,
When the X comes to town, albeit quite late!
Debated the X and lectured the hoards,
His soliloquies often expound on a point,
That gets Nigel's nose going quite out of joint,
He expands on his theories, some wise and some not,
The goat he is getting is stirring the pot,
But lively debate sits on back of some mules,
And a mule, not a goat, is what currently rules,
All the theories and wind that we all have let loose,
In X theories, next theories, and camouflage ruse,
Will soon be quite moot, at some nearby date,
When the X comes to town, albeit quite late!
NigelM
Recovering Member
Johan
Ex got M3 in the divorce, waiting for EU Model Y!
There once was a Hyundai from Tuscon
Abandoned, all by his lonesome
The vampire drain
Was close to insane
A week later the hydrogen was gone
Abandoned, all by his lonesome
The vampire drain
Was close to insane
A week later the hydrogen was gone
So Autopilot, our holy grail,
Has landed now and cannot fail,
To keep the news all full of guff,
Of robot cars and silly stuff,
And we'll dissect its look and feel,
Hold forth on ways it's not ideal,
But later points will cease to matter,
Debates on lanes and corner chatter,
It may take months or even years,
(Tesla time has no quantum peers);
But what shall we then talk of next,
When nothing more can make us vex'd?
No more the hounding of Musks' last blurt,
No chasing after his checkered shirt,
The X is here, self driving's learning,
The Giga factory keeps Nevada churning,
For speed and green and techie bling,
We will give almost anything,
But blanket approval cannot be won,
Until the heat death of the sun.
Has landed now and cannot fail,
To keep the news all full of guff,
Of robot cars and silly stuff,
And we'll dissect its look and feel,
Hold forth on ways it's not ideal,
But later points will cease to matter,
Debates on lanes and corner chatter,
It may take months or even years,
(Tesla time has no quantum peers);
But what shall we then talk of next,
When nothing more can make us vex'd?
No more the hounding of Musks' last blurt,
No chasing after his checkered shirt,
The X is here, self driving's learning,
The Giga factory keeps Nevada churning,
For speed and green and techie bling,
We will give almost anything,
But blanket approval cannot be won,
Until the heat death of the sun.
Electricfan
Active Member
physicsfita
Member
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