Ok, I watched the video release. For those who don't have 86 minutes to waste, here's a very cynical rundown:
- Skip 26 minutes because the countdown is... 26 minutes? WTH?
- The host is who I envision the demographic. Sort of a DB, but at least he's better on his feet than that Faraday Future guy.
- Overproduced and lots of plugs for various suppliers.
- The last Viper produced comes out, which Penzoil uses for adverts. They even made a movie on it with lots of sound effects... Plus they jacked up the rear end of the Viper on a 3 foot jump
- Then a rundown of the Fast and Furious music videos ending with an award for Dodge bragging about how many singles they've sold and how many Youtube hits they received. WTF?
- Then another video of a CGI demon busting out of a cage, smashing a cute white rat on the mean streets of Detroit, and then - for some reason - it decided to eat a gas tank. Fitting, actually. Then it blows up for some reason.
- The "cage" had a sign, "Warning, ferocious animal inside."
- Then the "head of passenger cars" (not sure why he's there when the Demon has one seat) began to give one of the most moronic Yogi Berra-esque speeches. How they shouldn't have made the car, it was a secret project, the engineers were geniuses, etc. Here are some quotes:
- "We've made the playing field less level by taking things to the next level."
- "You will know its name - whether you know it or not."
- "Back seat to no one." After stating it doesn't have a back seat.
- Lots of qualified statement, "First purpose-built, street legal, production drag car" built on a Saturday in July. It sounded like baseball statistics, "Johnny hits .340 on home games against the Cubs."
- "Release the beast" coupled with a graphic of a jockey photoshopped on T-Rex.
- We're over an hour at this point.
- "This is a car that earned a flight manual."
- "At Dodge, we don't keep our courage in a cage."
- "We have a higher octane coursing through our veins."
- "The is the most technologically advanced street legal...."
- Then "security protocols" were engaged, the cage was "initialized" and finally the reveal at 70 minutes.
- Guess what, it was a Dodge Challenger.
- Then Vin Diesel shows up because they paid him a lot of money.
- Finally a rap music video with the Challenger Demon.