I think the main problem is people who aren't the ones being offended trying to decide whether the thing should be offensive. That's just not how it works. If a group claims that something is offensive or discriminatory towards them then others should accept that and willingly restrict their own freedom of speech for the greater good. We're all better off when we decide to respect other viewpoints. It's ok to disagree silently.
To one side that sounds like a very rational ask.
To the other side that sounds like a creative attempt to allow the other side to cry their way to what they want.
In reality it's really hard for social change to happen, and for people to adapt to a new normal.
If you're a bus driver that has southern hospitality deeply rooted in you it's going to be really hard to adjust to not making gendered based assumptions when greeting people getting on the bus. You'll have to give up something that's very much a part of you to accept them.
My nibling is constantly offended. What they want the world to be is very different from how the world is.
Language is how people defend their world view, and how they want things to be. Symbols are another thing people will use to defend their world view.
I've noticed especially with symbols that one side will define what the symbol means for the other side so a symbol means completely different things to the two groups.
One of my neighbors has a BLM banner
One of my neighbors has a thin blue line tire cover on their Jeep. They have connections to law enforcement.
Neither of them offends me, but other people are offended by the one who goes against their social identity. They'll google their way to being offended or to justify their offence.
It's also going to be impossible to ask a deeply religious and conservative person who strongly supports female sports to respect the rights of a transgendered individual to play female sports. They'll see it as ruining female sports. Where biological females won't be able to compete against transgendered ones. I'll remain sittings on the sidelines thinking there is no good solution.
In general it's really hard for people to give ground.
I would love to be able to watch a Star Trek Episode that wasn't all emo, but that's not how things are anymore. Even the ship computer had an emotional breakdown in one of the latest episodes. HBO used to have the sex and violence I enjoyed, but now its just a parade of fake penises.
Now I'm not really offended by either of those, but I do see how that drives people of a more conservative nature to push back.