That's the thing, it's a little bit counter intuitive.
If I drive myself, I might be more like mad Max mode. However, I don't want to "monitor" another mad max driver (the car) for a long time, it requires a lot of attention. I'd rather monitor a granny driver and take over only when it needs to be aggressive. With this pattern I can relax 90% of the time.
NOA right now basically can only change lanes, passing, or go off ramp, when there's either low or no traffic, or the other driver on the road yield to you when your turning signals are on. I found lots of other people don't yield. NOA is kind of shortsighted and slow to take action, it doesn't matter if you set settings to max or mild, the maneuver is the same. That's in the fine print of the use manual. Mild only makes it wait a bit longer before suggesting lane change, so that avoids the problem of stupid moving back and forth thing. Same for speed, I found if the car before you are within -5 miles than your cruise target, with mild settings it won't suggest passing it that often. So you just need to adjust the cruising speed to match traffic.
In my opinion the real missing piece of NOA is it can't set own cruise speed to follow traffic yet, some times you need +/- 10 miles to follow the traffic.