Identical to all of my phantom experiences in the '21 MYLR. I don't get any of this in either of my '15 MS or '17 MX - they are smooth like butter.
I work in aerospace (real space, not planes), and some of my systems colleagues believe it's a cellular or satellite/GPS issue because the cars do exactly what you describe - when a braking event happens, the cruise control setting drops to some slower speed, as if the car thinks that's the speed in that general area, based on GPS mapping. This summer, we took the MY across Kansas, Missouri, Illinois and into KY. We only had phantom braking between eastern Colorado and around Salina KS. There were NO events from Salina to KY, nor were there from KY back to Salina. Then, from Salina to eastern CO, they started again, and coincided several times with my kids losing LTE on their tablets. It happened in either enhanced autopilot/FSD or standard adaptive cruise control.
My colleague believes it's a hardware issue with the GPS and/or cellular PCBAs/receivers that Tesla doesn't want to have to replace because there are too many out there, and to to them it's just a customer "inconvenience" (actually, Elon, it's a safety risk when you're driving 75 on an interstate passing a big rig, and then your car decides to adjust its speed to 50 mph right after you merge back in front of said big rig!).
To be honest, and I'm not an attorney, but it would seem that a class action lawsuit is in order because Telsa now charges people thousands of dollars for "enhanced autopilot" and FSD beta, yet in what seems to be impacting mostly M3s and MYs, those folks simply cannot enjoy autopilot on highways due to this major flaw.