I lied about waiting it out. It's so hard to wait.
I sent a quick email to my DS asking about the MyTesla page and if they still provide status (In Production or In Transit). He said they do, and I should have received notification that my car entered production yesterday. I did not. I wonder if this is a hiccup with buying an inventory vehicle. Whatever the case, glad to hear I'm in production.
I went back and revisited the tracking spreadsheet at the beginning of this thread for the past 6 months. It appears that median production time is about 5 days. There are a few outliers, which is why I used median instead of mean. At any rate, I'm telling myself that it'll be done this week and make it way up to Portland next week. On track for delivery on 12/12! Possibly sooner.