If you are applying torque to the steering wheel and you get nags, I would encourage you to schedule a service appointment. Simply resting your fingers on the wheel is not going to generate the torque that the sensor in the steering wheel is looking for.
In my car, I rest my forearm on my leg and my hand on the lower left of the wheel so that some weight is on the wheel, causing counter-clockwise torque, and I almost never see nags. I'm still subject to head and eye tracking, but I can quite lazily look around at intervals. I just can't get too carried away with ignoring the road. Either my car is tuned differently, or I'm interacting with it differently. The net result is a very relaxing drive so long as I follow the current road, including lane changes. Merges, exits and turns are another matter.