Really appreciate you care about my car. Very thoughtful.
That being said, you might not want to read my post so literally. They do everything on your list at both my local SC and local Big O that I now mostly use.
I get it. But when you exaggerate quite that much I have to say something. Because I think it's misleading to others. There is no way it's close to 15 min if they did everything.
Having it done, even near by, is 2 hour project (from starting to load tires at home in car to tires unloaded at home) if they do everything. If I do it myself, it's probably an hour. And I know it takes less time than having it done. Believe me, I've done it, because if it involves mounting or balancing I have no choice.
And I agree, I have seen some places be very meticulous. Local shop is quite good. Problem is, they are sometimes not consistent. Great one time and not so great the next. Varies between locations too. Also if they are busy they sometimes want me to leave the car for the whole day. I usually drop off wheels and tires and pick them up. Less worry. Less time waiting or getting a ride.
There isn't whole lot you can do yourself these days. Swapping seasonally or rotating is easy breezy.
If you have OEM Wheels I think Tesla will do it Mobile for $100.00, if I didn't do it myself I'd probably elect to do that.