Since badging, like key fobs, is so 20th century, perhaps Tesla might choose to go with a really up-to-the-minute way to differentiate product that will speak to their intended audience:
Short: The rare, short-ranged $35,000 model with no options (and basic black, you cheapskate)
Tall: The almost as rare long-ranged model with zero additional techie options, coming to a Store near you, some time or other, maybe
Grande: Long-ranged model with EAP, available so soon you'll get to tell us what we did wrong
Venti: Long range, dual motor, EAP, FSD, available next year (we hope)
Trenta: Long range, dual motor, EAP, FSD, Performance, FLAS (feels like a spaceship) available next year (we hope)