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Out of curiosity, what do you hate about your Tesla?

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1. The car is wide and some of our streets are narrow.
2. I used to like dreaming about getting a Ferrari or an Aston Martin, but now I know that any ICE car would be a disappointment.
3. And worst of all, I can only afford one Tesla at a time.
 
I don't hate anything about it. Really. Even though I'd be a chump to admit I hated someting I spend so much money on.

I love that it's comfortable and fairly quiet. I love that it gets over-the-air upgrades. I love the silly easter eggs. "ho ho ho."

What could be better? Some relatively minor stuff.

The windshield washer squirt doesn't reach the top third of the windshield, even when the car is standing still without wind.

The backup camera image should, I believe, show a fixed grid aligned with the car as well as the steering-responsive curving lines it has now. Backing up accurately is very important to this car: it's how it gets its power.

The front seat entry / exit is kind of cramped for a big guy like me. I wish the driver's seat was a little longer from seatback to front edge.

The phone integration of the sound system is cruddy. What, is it a point of pride that they can't do deals to get proper iOS and Android sound system integration (Telsa would never work with Apple or Google)? Just make it work.

Winter stuff: Winter range forecasting is crude. Control of heat features for winter is crude. There's no way to flip the windshield wipers up out of contact with the windshield when an ice storm is expected. What, none of the UX people drove the thing in the cold? Guess not.

Power: I wish there was a way to show how many kWh were pulled in during each charging session.

I wish there were indicators of battery and cabin temperature.
 
1. TuneIn is garbage. 20% of the podcasts I regularly listen to just won't load, period
2. Windshield wipers "smear" rain on their way back down
3. Quality of materials isn't up to par with other cars that cost this much. At this price point, I expect things like the window buttons to be made of aluminum.
4. Broken promises by Elon regarding software updates. I think it's crazy people are plunking down money for FSD at this point.
5. I would much rather have Spotify over Slacker
6. Service center never seems to have any idea what's going on, cannot give estimates.
7. Buying experience left a lot to be desired - no Tesla swag was given, car had swirl marks from shitty pre-delivery detailing. They never sent the final check to pay off the difference of the car I traded in. Had to escalate to corporate to even get someone to respond to me about it
8. Since the car is constantly evolving, it was hard to get certain details confirmed when I was ordering - for instance, no one could tell me if the front lip of the dash would be wrapped in Alcantara. Finally found someone who confirmed it would be. It wasn't (delivered September 2017, the must have stopped doing it over the summer)
9. Most items in PUP should be broken out to a cold-weather package. Given the option to upgrade the stereo, I would have said yes, but I don't need to pay extra for 5 heated seats I'll never use in California.
10. It's insane that with all the sensors/cameras available, there is no real blindspot warning system. Also crazy that there isn't a 360 degree camera for parking.

I love my Model X for the falcon wing doors that make putting the kid in/out of the car seat a breeze, but frankly, when my lease is up in 2.5 years I'm hoping one of the German manufacturers has an all-electric alternative. Audi's new self-driving tech (already available on the A8) appears to be ahead of Tesla's.
 
I don't feel the car is wide. I think it's perfect. I happen to hate narrow cars. The Chevy Bolt is a narrow car with narrow seats. You can't possibly be comfortable sitting in that for any stretch of time. Most electric cars out there are compromised by size. Spaciousness is a strength of the Model S. It's part of what makes the car luxurious and practical.
 
As others have stated, "hate" is to strong a word.
Can the car be improved? Absolutely, and I hope they continue improving them as they have over the last handful of years.

The biggest area in the S I would like to see is that it is too big.
In about a month I will be stepping up to a Model 3.
 
I think Tesla is solving the "size" problem with the roadster. Faster, smaller, cooler, faster. I'm already eyeing one of those for when the kids (hopefully) go off to college in four years or so. The 3 is obviously great, as well. But the prospect of owning a street legal car that goes 0-60 is less that 2 seconds brings out the 17 year old in me. And I miss that guy.
 
I hate the build quality of my car - specifically the rattles and the loose panels inside the car.

Same with me. I think the rattles were there when I initially brought my car but were accentuated when I installed my dash cam. I will have it addressed by the SC soon but I hope they don't dismiss the issue of loose panels as being caused by the dash cam installation. The other annoyance that I have is how much responsive the Model 3 UI is compared to Model S. I know the next versions of Model S will upgrade the processor but right now, the difference is really noticeable and goes against what Tesla says on its Model 3 webpage about it not being “Version 3 or the most advanced Tesla".
 
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I don't feel the car is wide. I think it's perfect. I happen to hate narrow cars. The Chevy Bolt is a narrow car with narrow seats. You can't possibly be comfortable sitting in that for any stretch of time. Most electric cars out there are compromised by size. Spaciousness is a strength of the Model S. It's part of what makes the car luxurious and practical.
I understand your basic point about cabin comfort. But consider that the MS is 5.7" wider than my last Mercedes E class, but has .1" less shoulder room( per mfg specs on their websites).

I think the culprit is the aluminum box frame of the MS which doubles as the battery box. The box frame adds an incredible amount of strength, virtually eliminates chassis twist and contributes to the safety of the MS, but it also creates the wide "step over" which makes the car more difficult to enter and exit, increases the overall width and does nothing for passenger shoulder room because we sit "inside" the box.

It's essentially v1.0 of the MS frame design. There is plenty of room for improvement to reduce width, and increase comfort without sacrificing strength and safety.
 
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I don't hate anything about it, but there are some issues that were addressed, or will be addressed "soon". As well as some things I think could have been done better and I hope will improve with the next generation.

1) Build quality and materials could be better for a car that price. Road and wind noise could be lower, too.

2) Width is a minor thing, but it's wider than the competition (5 series is just 3.6 cm shorter in total length, 1.4 cm longer wheelbase , but almost 10 cm narrower).

3) My car didn't come with a center console (already fixed by Tesla and me)

4) Door pockets and interior storage could be more usable

5) The UI doesn't get as much attention from Tesla anymore (soon...)

6) The navigation needs an update (soon...)

7) Prices in Europe need to be readjusted. The base Model S is now about $84,500 in Europe, before taxes. The S 100D would be 108k...

8) My Model S will probably never get what was promised for AP1 (on ramp to off ramp, I know mobileEye, but I bought a car from Tesla, not Tesla-mobileEye)

What I love:

1) Electric car

2) High range electric car

3) High performance, high range electric car

4) Sexy looking, high performance, high range electric car

5) Sexy looking, high performance, high range electric car, that I can use to transport my family and gear

6) Sexy looking, high performance, high range electric car, that I can use to transport my family and gear very safely

This car is something I didn't even dare to dream off, before I figured out it already existed.
 
The revamp of the main screen. Map expanding to cover the menu buttons, and hiding the map buttons too, was daft, and has changed something that I bought into something I don't want. No problem that some people might like that, but provide a "Classic" CONFIG button for those that don't.

Cold feet, and Tesla's inability to fix it.

Static on the radio, and Tesla's inability to fix it.

Elon's over-promises.

Testing of updates to the Infotainment software has been dire.(I work in that industry segment, so have some expectations)

"Great, I got an update this morning and the equaliser now has some extra sliders"
"Scratch that, it forgets my settings every time I get out of the car"
What was that? two months before that was fixed?

Static on radio channel went away with one software update.
It came back with the next.
That was over a year ago, still not fixed.
Service acknowledge that its a software problem.

Plenty of occurrences of poor regression testing where one update brings back a bug fixed in an earlier one. If that happened here in a software release there would be blood on the carpet ...

All that DEV effort on faultless Easter Eggs and yet insufficient DEV on the core system.

SatNav routes are no better that the software I had in a VW Golf 10 years ago. Traffic Aware rerouting is mediocre at best. Elon should have done a deal with Waze already ... having to have a phone duct-taped to the Dash is not really the solution for a $100K car.

Seems to me that a little effort on the Infotainment system would make it world class and drive the competition into oblivion, I mean: the screen is big enough :)

Disappointed with the brush-off I get from Service (here in UK, probably different in USA). It bodes really badly for a speedy scale-up to accommodate an influx of M3s :(

"Just a courtesy call to say that parts will be here tomorrow"
Repeat that daily for the next 5 days - do they REALLY not know when parts are coming in?
then "Car is scheduled for workshop tomorrow" for the next 5 days ...

... I caused some rumpus in the foyer when I picked the car up after that one; the Manager said we didn't need to go to his office so we had the conversion right there ... with sales-folk trying to pitch to customers all around us ...

Haven't got a solution to this yet either:

Me: "I get cold feet suddenly between 30 minutes and 60 minutes into a journey. Give the car to a mechanic for the weekend and let them take it for a road trip and make sure the full diagnostics are turned on for the trip"
T: "We've driven it round the block and it performs as intended"

The dreadful comedy-of-errors which is Tesla COMMs:

"My neighbour's 75 has been uncorked, can mine be?"
"What's your VIN Sir?"
"12345"
"No"

"Hello Another Service Centre, can my 75 be uncorked?"
"No"

"Hello Yet Another Service Centre, can my 75 be uncorked?"
"Yes Sir"

"Hello Can my European 75 be uncorked?"
"No European cars can be uncorked"
..
"Yes Sir, of course your European car can be uncorked"

"Can my 100 be uncorked/"
"No"
...
"Yes"

OTA updates with notes saying "Some minor bug fixes". I read the forums, so i get to hear about stuff, but not everyone does ... so the first time that most folk get to discover that something about AP has changed is when they arrive at a sharp corner / crest a rise / whatever ... that is NOT sufficient COMMs.

Love driving the car, hate Tesla's Back Office.
 
Blind spot monitoring, I have found, is a matter of properly adjusting your rear view mirrors. Most people adjust them to see traffic behind rather than on the side. Here is the technique I was taught: Put your head against the left window and adjust the mirror where you can just see the side of the car. For the right, lean over to the right 45 degrees and do the same there. Then watch the cars as they pass you on the left, when you lose them in your rear view mirror, they should appear in your side view, and when you lose them in your side view, they should appear out of the corner of your eye.

I'm telling you, it feels odd, but it will remove your blind spots!

I will give it a try but I must say I am now used to real blind spot monitoring with indicators in the rear view mirrors and considering the cost of the S something similar should have been implemented. If I want to drive something without any safety features I have my old Tacoma
 
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I will give it a try but I must say I am now used to real blind spot monitoring with indicators in the rear view mirrors and considering the cost of the S something similar should have been implemented. If I want to drive something without any safety features I have my old Tacoma

Telsa's original vision for the car was to not have any side mirrors, but use cameras and interior displays instead. Thus, they did not put the blind spot monitoring on the side mirrors like other vehicles.

Tesla still believes in that vision, so they're still insistent that the blind spot monitoring be done in some fashion other than involving the side mirror.
 
I hate the media player. It used to be better, but since v8.0 (I think) it really took a turn for the worse. The original design of the player, with vertical columns for Artist -> Album -> Song was a brilliant way to sort media for a car, where ease and speed of use is paramount. The new media player is like a tablet interface, left to right AND top to bottom. Having to track both horizontal and vertical location takes a lot more brain power (and eye time) than the old interface, where you only had to track on one axis (vertical). Really a big step back in usability. Then there are the bugs. USB media used to work fine, now it is a barely functioning mess that requires all sorts of work arounds.
 
I hate nothing about this car, but have a few dislikes...

DISLIKE the handsfree bluetooth system. It's awful, lots of background noise, poorly designed.

DISLIKE the fact that I can't enter multiple destinations into the navigation system and have the car rearrange my destinations according to the shortest route and then navigate to all of them - something my 2007 Prius did.

DISLIKE that Trip Planner is still beta (going on 3 years now) and lacks basic options.
 
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DISLIKE the fact that I can't enter multiple destinations into the navigation system

Good point. I use an EV Route Planner if I have way-points just so that I know whether I have enough energy, or plan where to stop and for how long. Having that in the car SatNav would be helpful. Frequently its just a return trip (which the car will give me a final-SoC for) plus one stop-off on the return journey, which then means final SoC is no use to me.